About This Lesson
In this lesson participants learn how using “I” messages can slow down escalation, giving us a chance to resolve a conflict.
Conflict escalates in steps or stages. When we use “I” statements, we are communicating to another person our experience, in contrast to a “you” statement which assumes we know what the other person is thinking or feeling and can make that person defensive. An “I” message is a statement that is subjective, not objective, so others will be less inclined to argue the point. Done well, an “I” message will not include blaming or labeling of the other person, but will demonstrate honest communication of a need to be met, even if that need is only to be heard.
Like all skills, learning how to use I-messages takes practice and time to develop. Give students plenty of opportunity to practice this in direct skill instruction such as the scenarios presented below and in teachable moments, when conflicts between students present themselves or when students need to share their own experiences or feelings.
