Autism Awareness Month: Parenting an Autistic Child

The Hidden Struggle: Masking and Burnout

Many autistic children “mask” their struggles in social settings, suppressing their true feelings and behaviors to fit in. Teachers often tell me, “He’s been great at school!” But they don’t see the emotional exhaustion that follows. By the time he gets home, he’s dysregulated and may go into fight, flight or shutdown mode.

What Schools and Parents Can Do

• Recognize That Good Behavior Doesn’t Equal No Struggles. Just because a child isn’t having meltdowns at school and is meeting age-related educational goals doesn’t mean the child isn’t struggling.
• Prioritize Decompression Time After School. Let your child engage in their favorite low-demand activities (e.g., watching a show, reading or using an AAC [augmentative and alternative communication] device).
• Advocate for Sensory Breaks. Short, structured breaks during school can prevent burnout. Since pushing for these to be introduced in school, we have noticed a real difference in behavior and overall emotional well-being with fewer post-school outbursts and less dysregulation.

Bullying and Social Exclusion: The Low-Level But Lasting Impact

Autistic children, especially those who are verbal or have low support needs often experience subtle forms of bullying. This could be exclusion, teasing, or being manipulated by peers. While it might seem minor to others, it significantly affects emotional well-being. My son has a strong sense of social justice and as a result he is often drawn into the center of not only his battles but also those of his peers.

How We Can Support Autistic Kids in Social Situations

• Teach Self-Advocacy Skills and Self-Regulation Strategies. Social stories, emotional regulation toolkits and strategies, and AAC tools can help children navigate peer interactions and help them understand and process their feelings.
• Encourage Schools to Promote Neurodiversity Awareness. Class discussions about autism help peers understand and include autistic classmates. 
• Provide Safe Spaces. A sensory-friendly area at school gives children a retreat when overwhelmed.

Balancing Extracurricular Activities: Passion vs. Energy Levels

My son loves karate, theater, choir and swimming; but on difficult school days, participating in activities can be a challenge. Some days, he’s excited to go; other days, the energy just isn’t there.

How We Manage Activities Without Burnout

• Flexible Participation: If my son is having a tough day, skipping an activity is OK. The goal is enjoyment, not stress.
• Visual Schedules: Showing the day’s activities in advance helps with preparation. We like to plan ahead for the week with customized boards that my son adds reward activities to in the gaps. You can create your own digital and printable timetable using the Twinkl Symbols for AAC app, which gives you options to print; we like to print it out and have it on the wall at breakfast so that we can talk about the day ahead in a quick and visual way. Ours is laminated, and the optional gap activity cards are added weekly and include downtime activities as well as academic/extracurricular. 
• Energy-Based Decision-Making: If my son is drained from masking at school, we prioritize rest over extracurriculars and offer flexibility and choice on the schedule.

The Homework Challenge: Picking Our Battles

For my son, home is a place to relax, not do schoolwork. After trying countless strategies, we decided to pick our battles. Right now, he completes homework at after-school provision, allowing him to separate school and home life. If your school offers after-school provision, you may find it helps to keep the balance and regulate emotions too.

Considerations

• If traditional homework methods aren’t working, consider alternative solutions like shortened assignments, typing instead of handwriting, or using interest-based prompts.
• Try reward-based Now, Next then Reward schedules. Offer choice to the rewards, and follow the lead of your child. 
• Consider the school expectations and age-related norms on homework and weigh this up against emotional well-being impact. There is a careful balance to juggle here, and you absolutely have to try out strategies and measure the impact.

Remember, every child is different, so trial and error is key to finding the right strategy for your child. Don’t be disheartened if you cannot get the balance. Take a break and try something new when you think the time is right.

The Power of Special Interests: Finding Joy and Motivation

Autism Awareness Month can highlight one of the most beautiful aspects of autism, which is the deep passion autistic children have for their interests. My son’s special interests include:

🎵Heavy Metal—Music helps regulate emotions and provides an outlet for self-expression.

🎮 Gaming—Video games offer social connection and problem-solving skills.

📖 Reading—He taught himself to read at age 2 and has been hooked ever since.

🎭 Musical Theater and Anime—His love for storytelling and characters brings him joy.

📺 “Doctor Who”—His favorite shows inspire creativity and conversation.

During the pandemic, when we were thrown into the depths of home schooling, we struggled to get my son to write, but when we let him write about “Doctor Who,” he produced full essays. A recent teacher embraced this too; when my son refused to write about Shrek (calling it “babyish”), she let him choose his own topic. He picked “Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares,” and completed every task enthusiastically.

Lesson for Parents and Teachers: If an autistic child resists a task, see if you can align it with their interests. The results can be incredible. Offering choice and flexibility where appropriate instills trust and sparks a love of the subject.

Consider downloading officially licensed learning resources to spark the interests of your children with free partnership worksheets and printables from Twinkl USA, offering guilt-free academically aligned content that can tie into special interests.

Autism Awareness Month: How You Can Help

April is about more than awareness—it’s about acceptance, understanding and action. Here’s how you can make a difference:

• Educate Yourself and Others. Learn about autism beyond stereotypes. Autistic children aren’t just “quirky” or “difficult”—they have unique strengths and challenges.
• Advocate for Inclusion in Schools. Push for neurodiversity education and sensory-friendly accommodations.
• Support Autistic Voices. Follow autistic creators and listen to their perspectives and share them with your students. If you have autistic students in your class and they are self-aware, consider giving them an opportunity to talk about themselves if they are confident to do so. In a safe environment, this can really help to break down stigma and spark real discussions and greater understanding among peers. 

Final Thoughts: Embracing the Journey

By embracing early diagnosis, visual supports, structured transitions, flexible learning and interest-based motivation, we can help autistic children thrive in a world that isn’t always built for them.

Autism Awareness Month is a reminder that acceptance starts with understanding. Let’s create a world where all autistic children feel valued, supported, and free to be themselves.